Yearning in Purgatory
by Bravery0898
Summary: He was happy with the love of his life, until one day everything was ripped away from him. She went missing. Little did he know, she remained in the shadows waiting for him. Waiting. Rated M for violence, language, lemons, and VAMPS!


**Hi my lovely fans. I appreciate you sticking with me! This is a plot bunny that has been stuck in my head. It is a repost simply because I didn't like the other version; but I'm trying again! This one is more a test. If I receive a positive response, I'll keep going after I've finished my other stories!**

* * *

I would do it tonight. I _could_ do it tonight. I had the strength to resist his blood. I had proven it time and time again when I stayed hidden in the shadows of his bedroom.

_Our_ bedroom.

I would reveal myself. How I would explain myself, I wasn't so certain. I had come back from the dead, though I felt as though I had never died. Hiding in the shadows of his life for the past two months made my dead heart more hollow than before.

Seeing him...

Seeing him cry out in his sleep and reach for a body that isn't there next to him...

Seeing him mourn for me until he had no more tears and then pray to God that I would come back to him...

Seeing him _miss_ me...

It took more strength to hold myself back from comforting him than it had taken to stop myself from drinking his blood.

And he smelled delicious.

Carlisle told me that I would experience rage, bloodlust. I wouldn't remember much of my former life.

But I did. I remembered him.

I _loved_ him.

My Edward. I closed my eyes at the thought of his name.

Of the way he touched me when I was human, over a year ago. When my lips met his as he thrust into me. It was heaven.

And maybe I could have that again with him. I would have to be strong. I _had_ been strong. I wouldn't drain him even though my instincts told me to do so.

I hadn't killed a human since I had turned. It was uncommon, but doable. My new family had taught me to live a life where I didn't have to be a monster.

_Would he see me as a monster?_

Before I could contemplate the question I'd asked myself for years, I heard a noise. There were footsteps coming from outside. A voices.

More than one.

He had brought someone home. And I could smell that it was a female.

_No._

Rage surged through me as I imagined the many ways I would kill her.

Snap her neck.

Rip her heart out.

Tear her limb for limb.

His body, his love, his soul were _mine_.

He loved _me_.

I inhaled and froze. A somewhat familiar scent assaulted me. Masked underneath the delicious smell of fresh blood flowing through my love's veins was a sickeningly sweet familiar smell. A smell I would not recognize had I not met Carlisle. It didn't matter that I knew I was not normal. I wouldn't have been able to catch it. I would have thought I made a mistake.

But I knew.

She was not a normal female.

She was like me.

Inhaling deeper, I realized there was someone else with her and my love.

A male.

And he was one of us, too.

_Vampires_.

I broke into a panic.

Why was Edward with vampires?

Their steps drew closer as I felt my lips draw back. I snarled and placed my hands on our bedroom door, ripping it off its hinges.

He was mine.

They wouldn't have him.

I heard the footsteps halt at the door.

"Edward?" The female's voice was faintly familiar.

"What's up?" He asked as he opened the door. I stepped into the darkness and away from where they could see me.

"May I please use your bathroom?" Her change of tone alerted me.

She knew I was here. How?

"Yeah go ahead, it's the third door on the left across from my bedroom."

"Thank you."

"Oh shit," I heard Edward say. "I forgot my phone in my car. I'm going to run down and get it real quick."

_Perfect_.

The almost silent footsteps cams toward my direction. I braced myself, preparing to attack, and when I lunged, I was pinned against the wall.

I snarled at the man who held me against my will.

"Bella, do not do this."

My eyes met the girl's and as I realized that her eyes matched my own as well as the male who was holding me by the throat, I recognized the both of them.

"Alice? Jasper?"

"You need to leave, Bella," Alice spoke up. "You'll kill him if you stay tonight."

I turned to the man holding me, the one I knew, pleading.

"Jasper, she is wrong." I struggled in the iron grip. I should be protecting _him_ from _them_. "I can control myself. Let me go!"

"Never bet against Alice." Jasper's responded. My eyes widened.

"I've controlled myself for weeks now. I won't hurt him. I love him. Let me go! You shouldn't be near him."

A sudden wave of calm overwhelmed me, and I no longer struggled against Jasper.

"Bella," Alice's high voice tinkered through the room. "We won't harm Edward, and we do not want to fight you. However, if you don't leave now, we will have to hurt you."

"Why?" I whispered. "I can control myself."

My head snapped to the apartment door. I heard Edward's footsteps coming closer to the apartment. He was returning. An intense longing overcame me as I realized how close he truly was. How close I was to being with him again.

"Bella, I can see the future." Her words only vaguely registered as I heard him walking up the stairs._ So close_. "I see what will happen if you stay right now. You are too strong and while you may not desire his blood, you will want him. You won't be able to control yourself and you'll kill him with the lightest touch. You have no idea the strength you're capable of."

I shook my head, fighting the confusing contentment that seemed to be spreading through my being. "Jasper is doing something to me," I moaned. I knew I wasn't okay with this. I was trying to fight.

"He is manipulating your emotions. He has a gift, just as I do."

"Gift? What are you talking about?"

"I can see the future, Bella. You will kill him. There is no doubt."

I felt myself begin to surrender against Jasper's grip on my throat as I heard Edward reach the door handle.

"Do you want him to die?"

"No," a soft, tearless cry escaped me as my eyes fell close. Anguish tore through me.

"Alice, I can't control her much longer," Jasper forced out, almost as though it pained him to speak. Alice's eyes looked from Jasper to me. They turned dark.

"Bella, you have to leave. He can't see you here. He will want you, and you'll kill him. I can see it. You won't be able to live with yourself and you know you can't die." Her eyes were pleading as my resolve weakened. "He needs to move on, and so do you."

Move on? I would never move on.

But if I did this and she was right...

No.

Pain...

_If he died._

Hell.

Whatever it was called. This was it.

I couldn't cry.

At least humans could release their anguish.

But instead, I was stuck with it as I felt complete hopelessness.

God clearly hated me.

_Surrender_.

I nodded. It was genuine.

Jasper removed his death grip from me.

At an inhuman speed, I rushed to the bedroom and jumped through the open window. When my feet hit the ground, I heard Jasper and Alice fix the door I broke quickly.

Efficiently.

Edward wouldn't even notice that I, the one he loved and missed and assumed dead for over year, was just a few feet away from him.

I ran.

And the further I ran, the more I felt a pull back in the direction I came. I ignored it.

_Keep going_.

As I raced through the night and into the forest, Jasper's spell that had manage to mute my feelings released.

The pain this time was unbearable.

Worse than my change.

Worse than my death.

_Worse_ than seeing Edward hope for my survival.

I collapsed to the ground and curled up as I let the pain swallow me.

He was almost mine again.

And what was worse than the hope was knowing he could never be mine.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**Ahhh what do you think? Should I continue or just scrap it?**

**Bravery**


End file.
